Explain

How will you explain the guilt, The secret eyes behind a secret door The mirror where a stranger always lurks The darkness where a boy is always hiding

How will you explain the need, The tremor in your haunted, lonely heart The terror that at night your mind is fraying The flesh for which your body longs with groaning

How will you explain the drive, To make your life work here and now, forever To grab a piece of heaven in your hand And never have it leave your grasp again To stroke and squeeze, and fiercely consume it And feed the worm that on your soul is feasting

How will you explain the pull, To be in love no matter how destructive To live as if your heart no hurt is bearing To run from home as if no home you needed

How will you explain the passion, Which chains you like a beast at night so black The urge so shameful, like fire that consumes you And shackles you, a slave of secrets dark

How will you explain the shadow, That inside lurks, behind a door that`s bolted Old nameless fear, ancient dread unspoken It terrifies a child in grown man`s body

How will you explain the madness, Voracious crows your sanity devour They take away the last enduring grain And leave you in a room, cold, white and empty There in that silence, sleepless voice resounds Your ravaged mind it fills with utmost horror It whispers that no peace you`ll ever have, No hope and joy will ever spring within you

How will you explain the falsehood, The mask your face so firmly that is gripping The laughter when you feel just bitter tears The silence when you want to scream with terror

How will you explain the shame, That friend unwanted who holds you in the darkness Caressing face so gnarled with searing pain And with a black veil guilty eyes it cloaks ‘I`ll care for you’ with poisoned lips it whispers And so the young tree ever crooked grows

How will you explain the bitter anger, The shame embracing, evil lie believing Your excellent and perfect heart you stomped on Believing that it only death deserved…

How will you explain the sorrow, Your glory and the beauty wasn`t seen An ugly soul you thought your lot in life was A twisted face and blackened heart to bear Received as your fate from cruel gods How will you explain the question, ‘Why was I made thus?’ little boy once asked A question in the withered soul that echoed And no one heard that silent, raspy voice The answer from the unseen lips that slithered ‘That`s who you are,’ the shadow then proclaimed ‘And never in your life will you be loved!’ ‘You are dirty, bad and rotten deep inside,’ ‘And all who know you will forever curse you’

How will you explain the lies, The wicked voice that echoed in your ears Sharp, deadly words right in the heart that stabbed you And doomed you to a life of endless torment

How will you explain the creature dark, The hand unseen, your throat at night that`s gripping The sharp and hungry blade your heart that pierced, Your beauty, hopes and dreams it cut to pieces…

Since you were little is your soul so shattered And you, my child, have not had too much joy Confusion, hatred, bitterness consume you, And shameful pleasure is your only friend But look, your eyes move to the horizon, And take your mind outside the hell within you A world is there, that you my friend will see That needs you, and the glory that`s inside you

A heart that`s darkened, rotting, almost dead, Might not seem much to you or to the others But long before the darkness draped your world That heart was made for paradise and glory

And how will you explain the glory bright, That makes you wish for world that`s somehow better A world without death, pain, and broken hearts Those places from your youth without the sorrows

Why does your heart for such world always yearns Why do you long so for a life that`s better And why does that glory, buried deep inside Death is refusing with a bitter cry?

It is because, child, such good world is true Too good indeed, to not have been existing And there is One who came to look for you Down in the darkness, a Hero came to find you Red blood once flowed, staining the wooden cross A young brave heart that day ceased to beat A sacrifice was offered to Death A price was paid then, a captive was released

That captive is your dear, eternal heart And you, my friend, for freedom have been ransomed Each tear from you, there in the darkness shed Is precious for the One that came to seek you He cares for you, that heart is loved by Him And God forbid that He should ever lose you…

How will you explain the guilt, The secret eyes behind a secret door The mirror where a stranger always lurks The darkness where a boy is always hiding

How will you explain the need, The tremor in your haunted, lonely heart The terror that at night your mind is fraying The flesh for which your body longs with groaning

How will you explain the drive, To make your life work here and now, forever To grab a piece of heaven in your hand And never have it leave your grasp again To stroke and squeeze, and fiercely consume it And feed the worm that on your soul is feasting

How will you explain the pull, To be in love no matter how destructive To live as if your heart no hurt is bearing To run from home as if no home you needed

How will you explain the passion, Which chains you like a beast at night so black The urge so shameful, like fire that consumes you And shackles you, a slave of secrets dark

How will you explain the shadow, That inside lurks, behind a door that`s bolted Old nameless fear, ancient dread unspoken It terrifies a child in grown man`s body

How will you explain the madness, Voracious crows your sanity devour They take away the last enduring grain And leave you in a room, cold, white and empty There in that silence, sleepless voice resounds Your ravaged mind it fills with utmost horror It whispers that no peace you`ll ever have, No hope and joy will ever spring within you

How will you explain the falsehood, The mask your face so firmly that is gripping The laughter when you feel just bitter tears The silence when you want to scream with terror

How will you explain the shame, That friend unwanted who holds you in the darkness Caressing face so gnarled with searing pain And with a black veil guilty eyes it cloaks ‘I`ll care for you’ with poisoned lips it whispers And so the young tree ever crooked grows

How will you explain the bitter anger, The shame embracing, evil lie believing Your excellent and perfect heart you stomped on Believing that it only death deserved…

How will you explain the sorrow, Your glory and the beauty wasn`t seen An ugly soul you thought your lot in life was A twisted face and blackened heart to bear Received as your fate from cruel gods How will you explain the question, ‘Why was I made thus?’ little boy once asked A question in the withered soul that echoed And no one heard that silent, raspy voice The answer from the unseen lips that slithered ‘That`s who you are,’ the shadow then proclaimed ‘And never in your life will you be loved!’ ‘You are dirty, bad and rotten deep inside,’ ‘And all who know you will forever curse you’

How will you explain the lies, The wicked voice that echoed in your ears Sharp, deadly words right in the heart that stabbed you And doomed you to a life of endless torment

How will you explain the creature dark, The hand unseen, your throat at night that`s gripping The sharp and hungry blade your heart that pierced, Your beauty, hopes and dreams it cut to pieces…

Since you were little is your soul so shattered And you, my child, have not had too much joy Confusion, hatred, bitterness consume you, And shameful pleasure is your only friend But look, your eyes move to the horizon, And take your mind outside the hell within you A world is there, that you my friend will see That needs you, and the glory that`s inside you

A heart that's darkened, rotting, almost dead, Might not seem much to you or to the others But long before the darkness draped your world That heart was made for paradise and glory

And how will you explain the glory bright, That makes you wish for world that`s somehow better A world without death, pain, and broken hearts Those places from your youth without the sorrows

Why does your heart for such world always yearns Why do you long so for a life that's better And why does that glory, buried deep inside Death is refusing with a bitter cry?

It is because, child, such good world is true Too good indeed, to not have been existing And there is One who came to look for you Down in the darkness, a Hero came to find you Red blood once flowed, staining the wooden cross A young brave heart that day ceased to beat A sacrifice was offered to Death A price was paid then, a captive was released

That captive is your dear, eternal heart And you, my friend, for freedom have been ransomed Each tear from you, there in the darkness shed Is precious for the One that came to seek you He cares for you, that heart is loved by Him And God forbid that He should ever lose you…

Written By: George Stoimenov

Not long ago Isought life whenever I thought life was to be found - like all others, I too have a hungry heart. But there was only despair and darkness. Sad is the life without hope, but even that sadness is only felt by those who know their hunger. It was in Africa, where He chose to finally meet me, after years of torment. I wept as received the only embrace which I truly needed. The years that followed brought strife, tears, and pain, but that was needed, much needed, if my heart was to be restored. He gave me a sword, a new name, and brought my old, old desires back from the world of the dead. How could they be dead, child? They were in the heart of the infinite God. Yes, we must become like children, for it is children that we are...

Old, long-buried hopes arose within me as the quest advanced. In His love, He restored, and is still restoring my heart which, as any other heart in this wonderful and terrible world, had been hidden in darkness and despair.

I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness...

You can find me on the web at https://storytellingandmore.wordpress.com/